I Must Confess That I HATE to Confess These Things...

I should begin by saying that I love worship.  The hymns, the prayers, and the communion of souls gathering at an appointed time for the purposes of worship and growth all bring so much to my life.  But lately I have noticed something that I have sometimes experienced in churches as I preach… loneliness. 

Anyone who has heard me preach will be familiar with the fact that my family and my life tend to come up a lot in sermons.  But even as I try to be open about my life, I have to confess that I still find a place where I occasionally feel lonely.  I think sometimes, “If everyone here knew how badly I can mess up, they would never let me preach again.”  “What if they knew that I sometimes have had moments in the past when I questioned my faith?”  “Do they know that I have worries and fear sometimes?  I shouldn’t because I’m a man of faith!”  Feeling that pressure occasionally gives me a profound sense of isolation, because I can’t let these things be known… for I am called by God to this sacred act of servant leadership and ministry.  I am supposed to be good at it, and good at living faithfully.  Luckily I have my wife who is a great source of comfort and strength, and have also found fellowship with men and women in ministry who share in these experiences and can offer guidance and encouragement.  That helps me immensely.  But what about the people in the pews at our churches?

It could be that Sunday morning worship is the loneliest time for many in our Christian experience.  Our final break through to true fellowship never occurs for one simple reason… our resistance to having sinners in church.  We have fellowship as devout and upright believers, and not as sinners in need of a savior.  Pious worship has many afraid to live as authentic people
who happen to be fallen and imperfect.  To have a “genuine sinner” in our midst is such an appalling idea that we work tirelessly to avoid that happening.  This leads us all to attend worship with our “church-face” on.  When we do this, we end up feeling alone as we are forced to live in our lies and hypocrisy constantly afraid that someone may see the reason for our shame. 

I believe firmly that we as a people being made new need to work on avoiding sin.  There is no doubt that we should actively seek to elude those destructive powers in our lives and world.  But what we cannot do is convince ourselves that we have already reached that goal.  We, you and I both, ARE SINNERS who are seeking to be made perfect.  This is a process that God can work on for the entirety of our lives.  We should worship as sinners saved by Grace and not as perfect people who have already earned our place in Heaven.  Living in that truth, and worshiping in that way, allows others to realize that they are not alone in their own struggles.  It gives them permission, as the Christ did, to admit to being who they are while He begins the work of transformation. 

I am a sinner.  I stand firmly in that recognition as I offer an invitation to all other sinners to come a share in a time of transforming fellowship together.  Let us begin to live and worship as a people unafraid to be who we are as we await Christ’s work in us to transform us into who we are meant to be!

Your servant in Christ, 

Chris