Now, when I say that this woman challenges me, I should also let you know right off the bat that it is in a positive way... and she never even knows she is doing it.
I stopped by to see Mary Darby this morning. On her next birthday, she will be 97. Even though it was an unscheduled visit, she somehow had a piece of homemade pecan pie and a glass of sweet tea that she had made herself ready for her "young" pastor as she calls me. Both of which were EXCELLENT! And in another moment of confession... I don't, as a rule, even like pecans or pecan pie. I all but licked the plate... it was really that good.
For some reason, I felt led to ask her permission to record our conversation. She gave me permission to do so, and I will share a part of the conversation on this blog for your edification.
I don't usually make recordings on visits, and for some reason I can't really explain, I guess I thought people would benefit from her wisdom and her sharing of her faith.
Mary is the young lady on the left. The other is Sarah, her sister-in-law who has gone on to Glory. This photo was taken at a lunch they had a few years back.
During our 45 minutes of conversing, Mary made herself breakfast (2 scratch biscuits & 4 strips of crispy bacon with a peeled tomato garnish), served me my pie and tea, swept the kitchen, and had a load of clothes going in the washing machine. Did I mention she is almost 97? And when I tried to get up and help, she shooed me away telling me that I needed to just rest because she knew I stayed busy and needed to sit every now and again. (Something my lovely wife might disagree with depending on the day by the way...)
During our 45 minutes of conversing, Mary made herself breakfast (2 scratch biscuits & 4 strips of crispy bacon with a peeled tomato garnish), served me my pie and tea, swept the kitchen, and had a load of clothes going in the washing machine. Did I mention she is almost 97? And when I tried to get up and help, she shooed me away telling me that I needed to just rest because she knew I stayed busy and needed to sit every now and again. (Something my lovely wife might disagree with depending on the day by the way...)
Now I should have also explained that Mary is, as she puts it, "stone deaf". In the last few years her hearing has deteriorated to an almost complete loss. Shouting doesn't even help. I communicate with notes, or over enunciations (as she can partially read lips), or awkward games of charades when I want to share a thought. Other than that she is in consistently good health physically and, I think just as important if not more, spiritually.
Mary explained to me her morning ritual of sitting on her porch, reading her scripture (or devotional containing scripture) and beginning to pray. She prays for me she says. And then for all people in positions of leadership. For our nation... for its people... for other nations... and the world. Then she prays for her family; her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and down the line.
Now you may be thinking to yourself, "What else does a 96 year old woman have to do? It's easy for her to have that kind of time to pray." Well, I would point you to my earlier description of what she was doing in the 45 minutes I was talking with her... at 96, and living on her own, these aren't things you can just take for granted you'll be able to do... much less quickly. She also makes a habit of writing little notes of encouragement to family and people in the community, just so they'll know she's thinking of them. She cooks for the kids and grandkids who tend to stop by to check on her, so they'll have something to eat. (Mary will not let ANYONE leave her house hungry if she can help it.) She walks her yard daily to check on her beautifully kept flowers. She tends to her own bills and still keeps up with the Price is Right most days. She has a full plate, and has to be deliberate with her time.
Last week she ended up spending a night in the hospital after getting too hot working all day, not getting in out of the heat until 11 o'clock. (Yes she still does light work in her yard.) And when she was released the next day, they tried to send her home with an oxygen tank. Mary told me that she said, "no" because "I'll soon be 97. It's up to the Lord when I go." Then she said something that speaks to what taking time, real time, to develop a closer relationship with God provides that a hurried life can't:
"You can see for yourself. You can sit out on this back porch, and today the wind is from the South. I've been sittin' there... and that wind was blowin'... and I'm just breathin' and sayin' who needs their oxygen? That oxygen is pure, but this is God made. It's the best."
When was the last time you realized, just because a breeze was blowing in your face, that God was giving you the very breath of life? Mary does... and she probably accomplishes more in her day than many who are a quarter of her age because of it. She has been a widow for many years, but knows that she has never been alone. She is deaf, but can "hear" pain in people's lives better than most. And most of all... even at almost 97... Mary Darby still wants to fulfill God's purpose for her life. She wants to know what she is supposed to be doing so that she can be a help in her little corner as she puts it.
I don't know that she realizes that she already is. I hope she understands just how much God uses her still to share the same love that purchased salvation for humanity. A radical and hospitable love that welcomed sinners into Grace they could otherwise never know and would never deserve. It is a love that let humanity know beyond a doubt that they had a home that they were welcome in in Heaven... Mary has that gift. She shares it often, and in some SPECTACULARLY understated ways.
May we all be as intentionally busy at loving and welcoming people as Mary Darby is. May we be as busy as Mary is appreciating the often overlooked things like a breeze.
And if we're not already, may we get busy finding and fulfilling God's purpose for our life.
May the love of God keep you today and every day,
Chris
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