“Then I will sow her for Myself in the earth, And I will
have mercy on her who had not obtained mercy; Then I will say to those who were
not My people, ‘You are My people!’ And they shall say, ‘You are my God!’” –
Hosea 2:23 (NKJV)
(This was a promise to the children of Israel even after their
infidelity to, and betrayal of, Yahweh.)
I confess that I sometimes ponder the nature of my relationships with
family, or friends, or colleagues. Relationships
are not static. Meaning that they change. Over the course of a relationship, our
connections will at times grow, grow apart, get stronger, experience weakness,
become deeper, and sometimes end. But
that is a defining characteristic of life… change. But what makes the difference between lasting relationship or temporary connection?
When I was younger, I would try to figure out what I got out
of a relationship. You know, whether or not I was receiving
a return for the investment of my time or affection or attention or help. I often had a very “what’s in it for me”
attitude. I suppose that’s fairly normal
though… isn’t it? But in terms of
relating to people, and relationships with them; I’m just not satisfied with normal
anymore. I want extraordinary… profound…
exceptional… unexpected… I want the most full and fulfilling connections I can
cultivate.
Through the years, experience has taught me to pay less
attention to the things that people might do to me; and pay more attention to
the things I have done to people. What I might do for people becomes more and
more important, as I realize that the only way I can grow those deep and abiding
bonds, is to give the gift I have received so freely away in the same way…
Love. When I began to have a “what’s in
it for them” attitude, I found that I was more interested in being someone worth
having a relationship with, rather than determining whether or not “they” were
worthy.
And of course these insights all began to occur around the same time my most
important relationship started… my relationship with my Creator, Redeemer, and
Sustainer. The same one who would reach out
to me even if I was never going to be worthy, and declare me to be worth the
effort. The one who, in spite of the
fact that I only came into our relationship for what I could get out of it,
continued to pour good things into me.
The one who, in COMPLETE perfection didn’t need me and could get nothing
from a relationship with me, but still signed a very one sided contract with
His own blood to pay my debts. The one
who has taught, and is teaching me what real commitment in a relationship
means.
That’s what I’d call an extraordinarily profound,
unbelievably exceptional, undeniably rich, deep and loving relationship. And once you’ve experienced that kind of
connection, nothing else can come close.
But you sure want to try… because you want others to know this kind of
joy.
Relationships that have any real value take time and
commitment. They take effort and hard work. They require sacrifice; but also give rich
rewards. In the end, they are another
way for us to learn that we reap what we sow.
In order to find abiding, healthy and life altering relationships, we
have to be willing to plant seeds and then tend the grounds of the soil from
which those relationships grow.
Sometimes they may even be watered with our tears. But as long as they’re always fertilized with unconditional
love, the yield and its nourishment will be astonishing.
Love in Christ always,
Chris
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